I was having a conversation with my friend and I reminded myself that I have had an intense curiosity about the female body, about all the things that must feel different. Moving around, how their clothes feel, the slightly different ways their bodies move. How does it feel to have breasts jiggle? How different does sexual stimuli feel? I have had thought like this for most of my life I realized, ever since I hit puberty. This conversation with my friend made me realize I definitely do not have body dysmorphia, but I have body envy. She said uterine envy, but my mind said no, but immediately figure out that what she said was partly right. It's envy of the whole body. It's breast envy, vaginal envy, curve envy. It's a deeply rooted curiosity about how a female body feels to that person.
Another friend asked me a question, and my response kind of goes along with what I've been saying with this post.
I woulr in a heart beat if there was a repeatable process that allowed me to swap between one or the other with little effort. I suppose a lot of people would. But most people might only use it once. I feel like I would change often, for whatever mood suited me. The word gender fluid has been floating in my head today, and maybe I am. I haven't given it much thought but it seems to fit.
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